Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Feeling the chill? Youthful Demi Moore has a Britney-style wardrobe malfunction
‘Bit nippy?’ cries out Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail as, ‘the cool breeze left Demi Moore looking perky as she headed to a coffee shop with Ashton in Studio City.’

Paparazzi run gossip site X17Online had captured a photo of Demi Moore as she left a coffee shop, with those erect nipples clearly poking through her top. The good news for banana buffing Daily Mail readers is that the paps were happy to share that photo with Paul Dacre’s red-blooded tabloid.

Demi Moore had ‘made a boob of herself’ by allowing her nipples to become erect in front of photographers: ‘She was certainly looking perky,’ salivated Paul Dacre’s organ.

Newly single Kim Kardashian soaks up the sun as she tweets: ‘I never want to go home’
It seems Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail simply cannot get enough of US reality TV star Kim Kardashian and is determined to make her a star here in the UK, licensing another set of bikini pics from paparazzi run gossip site X17Online.

Yet again, Kim Kardashian was busy sunning herself in Miami as the paparazzi, keen for their slice of the Daily Mail’s photography budget, busily snapped away.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.