Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

And the councillor for the wild party is… 23-year-old Tory politician slammed for her boozy photos on Facebook
When Conservative Party councillor Jodie Jones was silly enough to post pictures of herself partying hard on Facebook, Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail quickly became her online buddy.

Tabloid hack Lee Moran shook his head and tutted loudly as he downloaded pics of Tory Jodie Jones drunk and, especially exciting for Paul Dacre’s organ, kissing other women. Jodie Jones may have a degree from Oxford, reports Lee Moran, but that doesn’t stop her behaving badly and bringing her party into disrepute. Moreover, party big wigs had been warned that Jodie Jones was a piss head prior to taking her on.

But the red blooded tabloid’s army of banana buffing readers appear to disagree in the comments, telling Lee Moran to let Jodie Jones live her life and get a life of his own.

Look at me! Look at me!! Lauren Goodger tries to steal limelight at Jamelia’s birthday bash
The Daily Mail’s Sarah Fitzmaurice was pleased to receive pics from pop star Jamelia’s birthday party that appear to show Lauren Goodger groping her own tits. But the red-blooded tabloid hack was delighted when pics appears on Twitter of Lauren Goodber flashing her arse.

The tit groping was captured by paparazzi from Xposure Photos while the arse flashing was snapped by singer Layla Manoochehri.

‘As she arrived at the club she was seen peering down her top and running her hands over her chest, in an attempt to appear provocative, but what made for quite bizarre behavior,’ reports Sarah Fitzmaurice.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.