Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Whitney Port shows off her super-thin body in a cute ruffled bikini
The Hills and The City Reality star Whitney Port put a smile on the face of red blooded hacks at Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail when paparazzi from Splash caught her on the beach at Waikiki, Hawaii.

Sadly for the bikini clad Whitey Port, a ‘sunny disposition’ has only provoked bitchiness from the tabloid which accuses her of being ‘super thin’. Readers aren’t no sure, with a popular commentator asking the Daily Mail to stop labelling every woman smaller than a size 12 anorexic while others blame a poorly designed bikini. Either way — too thin or badly dressed — their are pictures of Whitney Port with little on from all angles.

The Hills star Whitney Port tops up her tan as she hits Miami Beach in bikini
When paparazzi agency Big Pictures got some pictures of Whitney Port in her bikini, the Daily Mail’s Chris Johnson once again stepped into the breach to provide some insightful commentary.

‘Whitney hit Miami Beach in a sexy bikini as she filmed for her new show The City topped up her tan as she lay poolside,’ the hack explains to banana buffing Daily Mail readers. Chances are Paul Dacre’s red-blooded followers aren’t that bothered why Whitney Port was in her bikini, just grateful to the tabloid for supplying them with so many pics to enjoy.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.