Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Topless but for a string of pearls, Doctor Who star Matt Smith showers underwear model Daisy Lowe with kisses
New Dr Who Matt Smith has been celebrating his success on beach with underwear model Daisy Lowe, reports a jealous Lizzie Smith of the Daily Mail.

Matt Smith will need to get used to his new found celebrity warns the tabloid hack as she annotates pics from paparazzi agencies Splash and WENN.

Lizzie Smith read in the Sun that, ‘Matt and Daisy were all over each other. They couldn’t stop kissing and cuddling.’

Jonathan Ross’ wife Jane Goldman lets it all hang out as she leads revellers at Kick-Ass premiere party
When Jonathan Ross’s wife, Jane Goldman, turned up to the première of Kick Ass in a most revealing top, the paparazzi was delighted. The resulting pics delivered a decent payout from Paul Dacre’s red-blooded Daily Mail.

Photos of Jane Goldman’s tits taken by LFI London, WENN and Xposure Photos all made it into the tabloid.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.