Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Myleene Klass on the crest of a wave on beach break in Barbados
Myleene Klass was taken by surprise holidaying in Barbados when a wave took away her bikini top, quickly arousing the interest of paparazzi from Xposure Photos.

Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail was delighted to be able to share the resulting pics with banana buffing readers.

‘Maybe the malfunction wouldn’t have happened if she’d been wearing an M&S bikini, many of which she has modelled in recent years,’ the red-blooded tabloid cheekily suggested.

Sarah Jessica Parker makes last minute adjustments as she struggles to stay in her short, tight strapless dress
When Sarah Jessica Parker’s tits fell out of her tight red dress at the London première of her new move, ‘Did You Hear About The Morgans? a whole host of paparazzi were on hand to cash in.

Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail snapped up shots from at least half a dozen snappers, with wardrobe malfunction specialist Lizzie Smith tasked with writing up the big story.

‘She was also seen smoothing down the rear of her super short mini,’ wrote breathless Lizzie Smith.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.