Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley shows off the talents which landed her Victoria’s Secret role… and new beau Olivier Martinez
Model Rosie Huntington-Whitely has shown off her tits and arse… or as Paul Dacre’s organ has it ‘talents’… in a series of lingerie shots for Victoria’s Secret.

‘Rosie Huntington-Whiteley gets a boost in a pink pinstripe Full Coverage Cotton bra,’ salivates the red-blooded tabloid before going on to ‘flaunt her cleavage’ in a ‘leopard-print Plunge push-up bra and knickers’ then turning her back to reveal ‘little to the imagination with her skimpy red knickers’.

Miranda Kerr strips off for her sexiest photo shoot yet
Barely a day goes by without Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr featuring in the Daily Mail in no more than her undies or a bikini. So imagine how excited Paul Dacre’s organ got when GQ secured a nude photoshoot. That’s right Miranda Kerr naked in GQ!

Naturally, GQ’s public relations people were more than happy to help the red-blooded tabloid out, in return for a little free publicity to help the magazine’s sales.

Banana buffing readers get three good sized nude pics of Miranda Kerr, plus one of her in a surprisingly revealing denim jacket, but will have to splash out on the magazine if they want more.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.