Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Kelly Brook goes back to her pin-up roots as she becomes the new face of Ultimo
Kelly Brook has gone ‘back to her roots’ as pin-up thanks to a new modelling contract with Ultimo, reports Paul Dacre’s delighted Daily Mail. And even better for banana buffing readers, the kind public relations people at the lingerie brand have shared more than half a dozen good quality pics with the red-blooded tabloid, a couple of which may be clicked to enlarge.

‘Now a mature 30-year-old, Brook shows she’s still got the killer curves she first flaunted as a teen in the sensational new ad campaign,’ the Daily Mail gushes. ‘It’s no surprise her 32E-26-36 hourglass figure has been chosen for the new Ultimo Spring campaign.’

Peaches Geldof shows off fabulous new range of lingerie (shame about the tattoos)
Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail has always loved Peaches Geldof and so hack Chris Johnson was delighted when the public relations guys at lingerie firm Ultimo provided an opportunity to study the It Girl’s tatoos.

Back in June Chris Johnson’s colleague, Paul Scott explained how Peaches has made a fortune thanks to the red blooded tabloid’s antics.

Here Chris Johnson invites banana buffing readers to enjoy seven pics of Peaches Geldof in her Christmas lingerie.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.