Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Thanks for the support but I’m off, Kelly Brook tell Ultimo bras
Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail has been left devastated by the news that Kelly Brook will no longer be the face — ‘or bust — of Ultmo bras. The red-blooded tabloid has been a keen follower of Kelly Brook and was delighted each time Ultimo’s PR team sent them a pic of Kelly in her undies.

The Ultimo public relations machine will remain happy as Kelly Brook is quoting at length titillating Daily Mail readers with talk of how big girls need extra support and praising Ultimo lingerie at length.

It fell to hapless hack Katie Nicholl to assemble a retrospective featuring some Kelly Brook in some of Ultimo’s most supportive garments.

Back to doing what she does best: Kelly Brook showcases Ultimo’s Spring collection in new video
‘After several failed forays into the world of television and cinema, Kelly Brook has gone back to what she knows best – modelling,’ reports an excited Daily Mail.

Paul Dacre’s red-blooded tabloid was delighted when Kelly Brook was announced as the face — and more importantly the body — of Ultimo and even happier when the lingerie brand’s public relations team shared some top pics of Kelly in her undies and a video.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.