Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Ulrika Jonsson is bursting with pride in her new £11,000 bikini body
Ulrika Jonsson’s surgically enhanced body is a constant fascination to Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail team who can’t get enough of the Swedish blonde.

With help of images captured by Cruise Pictures long lenses, Liz Thomas takes us on the journey of Ulrika’s breasts from 32AA to FF via D and back to 32C.

I’ve got the body of a 16-year-old! says Ulrika Jonsson… after £11,000 of surgery
The Daily Mail’s Simon Cable (or one of his sub-editor colleagues) initially got a little carried away — but hasn’t every banana buffer — writing about Ulrika Johnson’s post-cosmetic surgery body.

Simon reckoned she had bought herself the breasts of a sixteen-year-old (original headline still on page title and embedded in URL).

Anyway. It turns out that £11k has not bought Ulrika Johnson the breasts, but the entire body of a sixteen-year-old. And she’s only gone and sold revealing pics to Hello! which has promptly licensed the best to Paul Dacre’s red blooded tabloid. Simon Cable is left whittering on about cup sizes. You know he loves his job.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.