Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Four months pregnant Danielle Lloyd cradles her stomach as she tweets ‘I’m soooo happpy!’
When a four-month pregnant Danielle Lloyd took to a Dubai beach in blue bikini, it took two Daily Mail hacks — Lizzie Smith and Emiliy Sheridan — to write up the resulting paparazzi shots from Cruise Pictures.

Pictures of Celebrity Big Brother star, WAG and glamour model Danielle Lloyd in variety of poses and taken from all sorts of angles certainly got Paul Dacre’s organ excited.

Myleene Klass on the crest of a wave on beach break in Barbados
Myleene Klass was taken by surprise holidaying in Barbados when a wave took away her bikini top, quickly arousing the interest of paparazzi from Xposure Photos.

Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail was delighted to be able to share the resulting pics with banana buffing readers.

‘Maybe the malfunction wouldn’t have happened if she’d been wearing an M&S bikini, many of which she has modelled in recent years,’ the red-blooded tabloid cheekily suggested.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.