Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Million Dollar Body: Hilary Swank, 36, shows off her incredibly flat stomach
When Hilary Swank took a stroll in an itsy-bitsy pink bikini, Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail was left amazed by her washboard stomach… the red-blooded tabloid has always enjoyed looking at women with ‘athletic figures’.

Hilary Swank was holidaying with her boyfriend in Hawaii with paparazzi from Pacific Coast News keeping an eye on things for Paul Dacre’s army of jealous hacks, tethered to their desks in London.

Where’s your dress gone, Alesha? Ms Dixon suffers unfortunate wardrobe mishap at Leeds Party in the Park
When Alesha Dixon appeared at Leeds Party in the Park, paparazzi from Big Pictures were waiting in the mosh pit for some upskirt action and were delighted when her dress rose up to reveal a pair of black knickers.

Red-blooded tabloid hack Sarah Bull was waiting at a Daily Mail news desk that has suffered an upskirt drought for some time now. Upskirt shots have long excited Paul Dacre’s organ and telephoto lenses were quickly extended for Alesha Dixon.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.