Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Rita Rusic squeezes into a teeny weeny bikini for yet ANOTHER day at the beach
Rita Rusic has been caught topless on a Florida beach as she changed bikini tops by paparazzi from Splash.

The series of saucy pics was rushed to the news desk of Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail where top hack Leah Simpson was waiting to study the celebrity’s 51 year-old body. Whilst Leah Simpson admitted to envying Rita Rusic’s body, she couldn’t help but bitch that her breasts were too big for her bikini, complaining: ‘As the blonde got up to readjust her swimming costume, she revealed an unsightly case of “side-boob” – a look some exhibitionist beach goers intentionally aim to achieve.’

Banana buffing readers are unlikely to be so fussy about Rita Rusic’s breasts and many are sure to enjoy examining the photos carefully; particularly Rita Rusic topless.

Has bikini girl Cameron Diaz had a secret boob job?
Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail team has been carefully studying pics of bikini clad Cameron Diaz, supplied by paparazzi agency Splash, and concluded that the 39 year-old may have had a boob job.

Further evidence of the Cameron Diaz boob job comes, according from the red-blooded tabloid, from her having a new haircut apparently designed to avert attention from her breasts. Going through the archives, the Daily Mail believes it has uncovered a propensity for surgery — the star had her nose fixed in 2006 after breaking it four times — and in 2009 she told Marie Claire that she would prefer to be more voluptuous.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.