Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Eyes front, Ryan! Blake Lively’s top leaves very little to the imagination
When Blake Lively wore an exceptionally low cut top at the Comic-Con convention in San Diego, Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail was left more than a little hot under the colour.

‘[Blake] Lively had obviously decided to give the geeks… something to get excited about,’ exclaimed the red-blooded tabloid. Paparazzi from Splash even managed to capture a hint of nipple.

Modern Family star Sofia Vergara looks white hot in a frilly bikini
When Sofia Vergara celebrated an Emmy nomination and birthday on a beach in Ischia her now found fame ensured paparazzi from Splash were not far behind and the Daily Mail’s Kelly Hartog, was delighted to annotate the resulting pics of the 38-year-old Columbian looking ‘white hot in a frilly bikini’.

Paul Dacre’s red-blooded tabloid treats banana buffing readers to a range of shots of Sofia Vergara, including some cheeky playing with bikini photos that Daily Mail readers are sure to love.

Meanwhile, Kelly Hartog does a good job of telling readers who they’re looking at… not that the banana buffers will be that interested.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.