Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Isn’t it a bit early for that? Demo of sexual positions on This Morning branded ‘inappropriate’ by shocked viewers
Daily Mail readers were left choking on their mid-morning coffee when This Morning invited sex expert Tracy Cox on the show to direct a couple of models through a series of sex positions.

Hack Donna McConnell, better known for annotating topless photos of celebrities for Paul Dacre’s red-blooded tabloid, revealed that some viewers were unhappy: ‘jonny-boy20 said, ‘it’s a little disturbing hearing Phil talking about vibrators and orgasms at half ten in the morning!’

Nevertheless, McConnell appears to have enjoyed the piece, paying particular attention to tips on achieving orgasm and enjoying watching host Phillip Schofield squirm.

Too rude for TV? Billie Piper bleats like a sheep for perverted client in Belle de Jour’s latest distasteful call girl adventure
If you’ve missed the latest series of Secret Diary Of A Call Girl buy the book, buy the DVD or if that’s all too much check out the screen grabs in Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail and see Billie Piper pretending to be a sheep having sex.

‘Piper has admitted to finding the graphic sex scenes difficult in the first series. But by series three, it seems, she is more comfortable with doing virtually anything on screen,’ says the red blooded tabloid, which enjoys every minute.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.