Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Touchdown! Serena Williams lends some glamour to beach football in green lace bikini
Tennis star Serena Williams drew the attention of fellow beach goers when she played ball in a green bikini… and got snapped by appropriately named paparazzi agency Splash.

The pics were snapped up by Paul Dacre’s over excited organ, claiming that it was not the first time Serena Williams had warn ‘statement swimwear’. And we all know what it was saying to banana buffing readers.

Tennis ace Serena Williams holds court at Miami beach in a colourful swimsuit
When Serena Williams took to a Miami beech, she soon discovered paparazzi agencies Big Pictures and Splash were in hot pursuit, ever keen to capture some bikini shots with which to delight Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail.

‘The 28-year-old frolicked in the surf in a brightly coloured swimsuit that flaunted her incredibly toned physique,’ gushes the red-blooded tabloid.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.