Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

That’s one way to sell jewellery! Katie Holmes goes topless in sexy and sultry new campaign
When Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail discovered that Katie Holmes had gone topless for an advertising campaign for H Stern, hack Sarah Bull was straight onto the jeweller’s PR team for a look at the pics.

And the offer of some free publicity was all it took for red blooded tabloid to get hold of a series of Katie Holmes topless shots to share with banana buffing readers. Bitchy Sarah Bull explains that Katie Holmes has been concentrating on modelling after her acting was panned by critics.

Corr blimey! Andrea shows off her blossoming baby bump as she hits the beach in a tiny black bikini
When pregnant Andrea Corr flaunted her bikini body while on holiday in the Caribbean, paparazzi from Splash were on hand to extend their lens on behalf of Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail.

And when hacks Sarah Bull and Emily Sheridan saw the pics, they knew they must share them with the red-blooded tabloid’s army of banana buffing readers. The pair read in the Daily Telegraph that Andrea Corr is happily married, which is nice.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.