Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Another day, another bikini for Abbey Clancy as she slips and slides around Dubai water park
When paparazzi Russell Hales caught WAG Abbey Clancy ‘frolicking with a female friend’ in her pink bikini, he knew he’d made more than enough money to cover his own trip to Dubai.

The pictures were snapped up by Paul Dacre’s ever excited Daily Mail, with stay-at-home hack Chris Johnson left to write up the usual jealous commentary.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.