Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Besotted Geri Halliwell gets her curves back as she holidays with new love Henry
‘Geri Halliwell may be blessed with enviable curves,’ writes Richard Simpson for Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail, ‘but she needs a new swimsuit to help contain them.’

Simpson has been reviewing shots of the ‘curves’, Daily Mail speak for tits, supplied to the red blooded tabloid by paparazzi agency Big Pictures and reckons Halliwell ‘almost slipped out of her string bikini top. She also tried on a pink bikini – which promptly followed the first in partially sliding off.’

After viewing a photo of Geri mounting her boyfriend Henry Beckwith, Richard reckons the couple should ‘get a room’. But perhaps it’s the over excited Richard Simpson who needs to spend 20 minutes or so studying Geri Halliwell’s curves in private.

Myleene Klass hangs on to her M&S modelling contract… but accepts a £250,000 pay cut
‘This is not just a pay cut. This is an M&S pay cut,’ joked the Daily Mail’s Richard Simpson and Paul Revoir as Marks and Spencer cut Myleene Klass’s pay by 25 per cent to £750,000.

Images of Myleene in M&S bikinis have been snapped up by Paul Dacre’s red blooded tabloid, whose favourites may, as always, be clicked to enlarge!

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.