Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Still not interested in being sexy Peaches? Miss Geldof strips off to model ‘playful’ underwear
Peaches Geldof doesn’t want to look sexy, reports the Daily Mail’s Lizzie Smith. But she obviously does want the money posing in Miss Ultimo lingerie brings in and Peaches Geldof’s celebrity is such that Lizzie Smith is reduced to writing a little advertorial to accompany the pics.

Lizzie Smith has spent quite some time examining the Peaches’ tattoos, apparently intended to create a grungy rather than sexy look… and bitches that on that score Peaches Geldof in Miss Ultmo fails.

Peaches Inc. Miss Geldof may have no discernible talent, but she’s good at one thing: making obscenely easy money…
The Daily Mail’s Paul Scott is apparently seething at the ease with which Peaches Geldof makes lots of money out of the tabloid’s obsession with her.

Particularly upsetting for Paul Scott is a scam by which Peaches allegedly received a £50,000 kick back from paparazzi who photographed her topless on a beach (scroll down for that shot). Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail was one of the newspapers that paid out for the shots and prefers such material to be genuinely candid as befits the tabloid’s Peeping Tom sexuality.

While Peaches Geldof makes big money modelling for Ultimo, poor old Paul Scott is reduced to spending his days annotating the resulting photos for banana buffing readers and wondering what her father makes of it all.

Poor old Paul Scott. One wonders what his mother makes of it all.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.