Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Modelling in her underwear at 12 and pregnant at 15… and schoolgirl’s proud mother can’t wait for a new council house
When Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail heard that Soya Keaveney had struck a series of ‘provocative’ and ‘revealing’ poses aged just 12, top hack Paul Sims was put on the case to track down the photos to be shared with banana buffing readers.

Checking out Soya Keaveney, Paul Sims discovered that she had been allowed to wear lacy underwear and a bikini to pose in Closer magazine aged just 12. ‘She had also started wearing padded bras, short skirts, cropped tops, high heels and fishnet tights,’ says Paul Sims excitedly.

Pictured: The raunchy images of Des O’Connor’s daughter that tempted two DJs to call her a porn star
Kristina O’Connor, daughter of national treasure Des O’Connor, posted pictures of herself to a website that were so raunchy a couple of student DJs accused the 21 year-old blonde of being a porn star, reports the Daily Mail. The shocking accusation led to the naughty pair being banned by their radio station, the newspaper claims.

As Birmingham University investigates the incident thanks go to News Team for providing Daily Mail readers with an opportunity to view a selection of the offending images for themselves.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.