Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley shows Olivier Martinez what he’s missing in yet another scantily clad shoot
Regular banana buffers will know that Paul Dacre’s organ gets particularly excited whenever Rosie Huntington-Whiteley appears in a fashion shoot, so imagine the red-blooded tabloid’s excitement when the model appeared properly topless.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s exposed nipples appear in the last of five photos shared with banana buffing readers by the Thomas Wylde public relations team.

‘…the 22-year-old is pictured topless, posing in nothing more than a pair of knickers and some jewellery,’ exclaims the Daily Mail.

Get a bra, Britney! Ms Spears shows too much front in unsuitable white top
Pictures obtained by Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail from paparazzi agency Big Pictures reveal that Britney Spears breasts tend to sag without a bra.

To make matters worse the red blooded tabloid reports that, ‘cold weather, combined with a thin cotton white top, showed her curves.’

Some Daily Mail readers were led to comment disappointedly that Britney Spears’ nipples appear to point in the wrong direction.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.