Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

‘I want my curves back’: opens up about her weight loss and reveals she wants ANOTHER boob job
Red blooded tabloid, the Daily Mail, has read in New! magazine that the boobs of The Only Way Is Essex star, Amy Childs, have disappeared.

The boobs are reported to have deflated after Amy Childs lost weight. Paul Dacre’s crack reporting team read that Amy Childs has told new New!, ‘I was a size 10. I’m about an 8 now. I’ve lost my boobs a bit as well.’

The new smaller boobed Amy Childs appears to disappoint Paul Dacre’s organ, which is known to be excited by larger breasts. Paul Dacre’s team has read that ‘skinny’ Amy Childs wants her boobs back and is looking forward to another boob job.

Amy Childs poses in sexy shoot with boyfriend Joe Hurlock as she reveals she’s found ‘The One’
The Daily Mail’s Sarah Bull was devastated when The Only Way is Essex star Amy Childs and boyfriend Joe Hurlock said they wanted to keep their relationship private. The red blooded tabloid hack had been hoping for a sex tape.

So imagine the delight amongst Paul Dacre’s team, when someone spotted that the celebrity couple had done a ‘sexy photoshoot’ for New! magazine, including topless shots of Amy Childs. The weekly’s PR team was more than happy to let Sarah Bull share topless pics of Amy Childs with banana buffing readers.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.