Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

I’m A Celebrity: Stacey Solomon holds her own as she wins the jungle shower battle against Playmate Kayla Collins
The Daily Mail’s Sarah Bull remains glued to I’m A Celebrity and remains fixated on a a bikini war between Stacey Solomon and Kayla Collins who have both showered in their swimwear.

Memories of Myleene Klass have flooding back to Sarah Bull and every time a female contestant takes a shower, the intrepid reporter is comparing her with photos from the Daily Mail archives of a bikini clad Myleene Klass taking a shower. So far, Sarah Bull reckons Stacey Solomon looks best in a bikini, but Kayla Collins is a close second.

‘The 21-year-old star wore a tiny red frilly bikini from La Senza which highlighted her svelte figure as she washed her hair under the trickling water of the waterfall,’ reports Sarah Bull who seems desperate to see Stacey Solomon remove that bikini and shower nude or at least topless.

Glowing Myleene Klass shows her pregnancy curves in all their glory in a white bikini
Myleene Klass has long been a favourite of Daily Mail reading banana buffers and so the red-blooded tabloid has been determined to treat readers with sexy pics of the M&S advertising star showing off her ‘pregnancy curves in all their glory’ while holidaying in Los Angeles.

So imagine the excitement amongst Paul Dacre’s team when Myleene Klass bathed topless with a friend. Paparazzi from Xposure Photos caught her removing the straps of her halterneck bikini to get a better tan and readers are treated to images of Myleene Klass adjusting those ‘curves’. Steady on Mr Dacre!

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.