Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

The Voice of an Angel, and a heavenly body! Charlotte Church is the yummiest of mummies
When Mr Paparazzi caught Charlotte Church frolicking in Dubai in a blue bikini, the Daily Mail’s Kate Loveys and Georgina Littlejohn fell in love: ‘she’s the body of an angel!’

‘The singer whose breakthrough came with Voice of an Angel looked the yummiest mummy in the paddling pool as she played with her two children in the Dubai sunshine,’ they exclaimed.

The pictures of Charlotte Church sunbathing and sneaking off for a crafty fag, will dispel rumours her marriage is in trouble claim Paul Dacre’s crack team.

Ali Bastian and Brian Fortuna spend their THIRD holiday together since Strictly
‘Ali Bastian and Brian Fortuna have barely parted each other’s side since they crashed out of Strictly Come Dancing,’ reports Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail which reckons they’ve had THREE holidays since getting knocked out… and it looks like Mr Paparazzi has been with them on each occasion.

Red-blooded readers are invited to admire Ali Bastian’s ‘toned figure’ and Brian Fortuna’s pecks in a series of Peeping Tom style shots. Most of the commentary has been lifted from a recent edition of rival tabloid, The People.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.