Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

‘Just friends’ then, Miley? Teen idol Cyrus FINALLY confirms co-star relationship with passionate beach clinch
Miley Cyrus has ‘never confirmed she’s in a relationship with Liam Hemsworth,’ says Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail, so imagine the red-blooded tabloid’s excitement when it received Peeping Tom style pics from paparazzi agency Matrix Photos of the couple snogging on a beach.

Seventeen-year-old Miley Cyrus has long been a favourite of banana buffing Daily Mail readers, who are likely to enjoy the photos of a ‘toned’ Miley.

‘Wearing a cropped t-shirt which showed off her washboard stomach and pierced tummy button, teamed with denim hotpants and aviator sunglasses, Miley looked every inch the American beach babe,’ Paul Dacre’s organ salivated.

Disney star Miley Cyrus in ANOTHER photo controversy as she straddles a chair in new provocative shot
‘She may be only 16, but Miley Cyrus is proving quite the veteran when it comes to posing for controversial photos,’ reports Paul Dacre’s hot and bothered Daily Mail.

Photos in which, ‘the teen star smoulders and pouts in a tight vest and shorts as she straddles a chair in a dressing room,’ prove a little hard for the red blooded tabloid to take. Sounds like editor Paul Dacre, 60, and his crew need to take a cold shower.

Given Dacre’s heart condition, lets hope he doesn’t spend too long studying Myley’s ‘provocative’ poses. We’re sure she wouldn’t want granddaddy to suffer a mishap.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.