Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Daisy Lowe to swap the catwalk for the centrefold as she prepares to strip off for Playboy
Daisy Lowe, model and girlfriend of Dr Who star Matt Smith is to strip off for Playboy, reports the Daily Mail, and Paul Dacre’s organ could not be more excited.

The red blooded tabloid has gone through its extensive archive and selected its favourite pictures that show banana buffing readers that she is ‘no stranger to stripping off’. Daisy Lowe will appear in Playboy with the blessing of her mother, reckons the Daily Mail, but there is no news on how her father feels.

Topless but for a string of pearls, Doctor Who star Matt Smith showers underwear model Daisy Lowe with kisses
New Dr Who Matt Smith has been celebrating his success on beach with underwear model Daisy Lowe, reports a jealous Lizzie Smith of the Daily Mail.

Matt Smith will need to get used to his new found celebrity warns the tabloid hack as she annotates pics from paparazzi agencies Splash and WENN.

Lizzie Smith read in the Sun that, ‘Matt and Daisy were all over each other. They couldn’t stop kissing and cuddling.’

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.