Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Jennifer Aniston’s romance with Gerard Butler heats up as she jets off on birthday holiday with the actor and her closest friends
Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler have aroused the long lenses of paparazzi from Splash and Matrix Photos by stripping off to swimwear while on holiday… and Paul Dacre’s excited organ has secured some of the best pics.

And when ‘Jennifer’s close friends’ Courtney Cox and Sheryl Crow joined the couple red-blooded tabloid hacks become frenzied.

Whoops! Now we know what’s Holden Amanda in… a pair of Spanx
Paul Dacre’s organ has long admired Amanda Holden’s ‘pert bottom’, so imagine the tabloid’s shock when it received an upskirt shot from paparazzi agency Matrix Photos revealing that Amanda Holden wears control pants.

‘Holden’s use of the pants is surprising given her bottom-flashing in her TV show last week,’ says a gutted Daily Mail, which in the next breath admits: ‘Holden has spoken openly about her love of Spanx.’

Perhaps it’s one thing to hear Amanda Holden talk about control pants, but receiving an upskirt shot that shows them in action is quiet another.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.