Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Just who IS George Michael kissing, Kenny? Star spotted smooching and it WASN’T with his long-suffering partner Goss
George Michael has been caught kissing a mystery man by paparazzi agency Matrix Photos, much to the delight of Paul Dacre’s organ, which rarely allows itself to get excited at overtly gay material.

Just for a change banana buffing readers are offered a full on gay kiss as George Michael smooches with the stranger in the absence of Michael’s ‘long suffering’ boyfriend Kenny Goss. The well toned pair are seen in no more than their swimming trunks as they swim in the sea near Sidney.

‘Afterwards the pair got back on deck and snuggled up together drinking beers,’ reports an over excited Chris Johnson. ‘George, 46, then rubbed sun cream all over all over his friend’s tattooed torso, who was seen smoking a suspicious-looking roll-up cigarette.’

Blake Lively soaks up the Miami heat on a getaway with Gossip Girl co-stars
When Gossip Girl Blake Lively appeared on holiday ‘wearing a string bikini which highlighted her toned, athletic figure,’ she had no trouble arousing the long lenses of paparazzi agency Matrix Photos and the Daily Mail’s Sarah Bull.

Things got quite steamy when Blake Lively’s boyfriend and co-star, Penn Badgley, appeared in just his swimming trunks. On screen the pair are in relationships with different characters, prompting Paul Dacre’s organ to wonder how Penn Badgley feels when Blake Lively cops off with other men.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.