Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Beer and cigs! Stephen Dorff shows his holiday diet secret for ripped abs
Stephen Dorff made quite an impression on Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail when paparazzi agency Matrix Photos caught the 37-year-old movie star parading his abs on an Italian beech.

The red-blooded tabloid was particularly jealous of Stephen Dorff’s ability to maintain a six pack while drinking beer and reports that the Italian break came shortly after a weekend in Malibu with a ‘mystery brunette’.

Just who IS George Michael kissing, Kenny? Star spotted smooching and it WASN’T with his long-suffering partner Goss
George Michael has been caught kissing a mystery man by paparazzi agency Matrix Photos, much to the delight of Paul Dacre’s organ, which rarely allows itself to get excited at overtly gay material.

Just for a change banana buffing readers are offered a full on gay kiss as George Michael smooches with the stranger in the absence of Michael’s ‘long suffering’ boyfriend Kenny Goss. The well toned pair are seen in no more than their swimming trunks as they swim in the sea near Sidney.

‘Afterwards the pair got back on deck and snuggled up together drinking beers,’ reports an over excited Chris Johnson. ‘George, 46, then rubbed sun cream all over all over his friend’s tattooed torso, who was seen smoking a suspicious-looking roll-up cigarette.’

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.