Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Call that a cover-up? TOWIE’s Jessica Wright’s maxi dress doesn’t really do its job as she heads back to Marbs
When Jessica Wright, of The Only Way Is Essex, was spotted wearing a maxi dress with a massive split, paparazzi agency Matrix Photos was quickly on the case working to secure valuable upskirt shots for Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail.

And the red blooded tabloid was delighted with the results that revealed upskirt of Jessica Wright, is a skimpy bikini. ‘[Her] bottoms were virtually entirely on show as she strolled along,’ squealed the Daily Mail delighted with another set of pics to share with its banana buffing readers.

French footballer Franck Ribery puts on show of family unity following underage prostitute scandal and World Cup shame
French footballer Franck Ribery has taken to the beach following an under-age prostitute scandal and a disastrous World Cup.

Paparazzi from Barcroft Media and Matrix Photos were on hand to capture some pics of Franck Ribery showing off his abs, but for Paul Dacre’s red-blooded Daily Mail the footballer’s appearance was a great opportunity to share pictures of the under-age prostitute — Zahia Deha — with banana buffing readers.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.