Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Too sexy for Coronation Street: The censored scenes fans won’t be seeing on television tonight
The sight of Coronation Street’s Rosie Webster is sexy lingerie has been deemed too explicit for television, according to the Daily Mail’s Liz Thomas.

But fortunately, Paul Dacre’s team has secured a couple of screen shots for readers to enjoy. Unconcerned by TV’s requirement to play to a family audience, the Mail offers a chance to enjoy the character’s ‘come hither look’ as ‘teen temptress Rosie strips to her underwear to try to entice factory boss Luke Strong.’ (Given the tabloid’s excitement, you could be forgiven for thinking they had pictures of Rosie Webster naked.)

Ulrika Jonsson is bursting with pride in her new £11,000 bikini body
Ulrika Jonsson’s surgically enhanced body is a constant fascination to Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail team who can’t get enough of the Swedish blonde.

With help of images captured by Cruise Pictures long lenses, Liz Thomas takes us on the journey of Ulrika’s breasts from 32AA to FF via D and back to 32C.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.