Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Strip off in front of a man? Oh yes I can! The small but significant achievements that make life worth living…
The Daily Mail’s Linda Kelsey, best known for exposing sex obsessed over ’50s, has made a bid for the title ‘Horniest Member of Paul Dacre’s Team’ by revealing her New Year resolution is to ‘strip off in front of a man’.

For Linda Kelsey, stripping off would be one of the ‘small but significant achievements that make life worth living’. But don’t get too excited boys! The photo illustrating the piece is posed by models. As Linda Kelsey explains, her lack of confidence stems from being a 50-something still hung-up on a failed 25 year marriage.

‘Sex is about how we connect,’ concludes Linda Kelsey, ‘not what we look like.’ Yeah, like whatever!

‘Sex over 50 is meant to be taboo, but my friends are obsessed’: Linda Kelsey’s diary of going grey
Sex over 50 is supposed to be taboo, reckons the Daily Mail’s Linda Kelsey, but she and her friends are obsessed.

If wasn’t for the botox, they’d be well wrinkly but that doesn’t stop them racking up five bonks a night. Viagra, Rampant Rabbits and the like all combine to ensure Paul Dacre’s readers can think of nothing else… but Buff the Banana readers knew that already

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.