Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Lily Allen gives crowd a few cheeky glimpses in a tiny tunic dress
Given the number of tries Paul Dacre’s team has had at securing an upskirt shot of Lily Allen — Lily Allen and a glimpse upskirt, Lily-Bo-Peep: Lily Allen bares bum shock, Lily Allen’s bare bottom — one could easily assume that some edict has come from on high: ‘show me the knickers of Lily Allen!’

Or maybe Daily Mail readers would prefer she went commando?

Paul Dacre’s organ was particularly impressed by Lily Allen’s ‘cheeky performance’ at the Liverpool Arena. Paparazzi agencies Splash and ISO Images felt their long lenses extend each time Lily Allen adjusted her ‘Chanel printed tunic’ which she’d complemented with ‘her favourite tights and a bowler hat.’

The audience got ‘several peeks of her behind,’ according to the red blooded tabloid, but sadly the snappers failed to get a money shot.

Lily Allen shows no Fear as she pops out yet AGAIN as she performs at jazz festival
Lily Allen delighted Chris Johnson of Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail when her nipple slipped out in front of snappers Rex Features.

The wardrobe malfunction happened at the 43rd Montreux Jazz Festival in Switzerland and revealed that Liliy Allen was not wearing a bra.

‘After lifting her arm in the air in a seemingly graceful pose,’ explains Chris, who reckons Lily is currently at her most toned, ‘crowds were left smiling as the songstress’s loosely-fitting dress came away around her chest.’

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.