Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Unwrap me! Kelly Brook makes the most alluring Christmas present as she undresses for sexy advent calendar video
Kelly Brook has appeared in Love magazine as a topless Santa, much to the delight of Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail.

‘She’s a present that any man would be beside themselves to see under their tree,’ reckons cheeky hack Sarah Bull, who has studied an online video in which Kelly Brook strips off Christmas wrapping paper and a big red bow to expose herself. But banana buffing Daily Mail readers don’t have to splash out over a copy of Love, as their favourite tabloid has obtained some great pictures for them to enjoy.

Regular readers of Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre, will recall that this is not first time the Daily Mail has featured Kelly Brook stripping for Love. Back in November 2010, Love shared pictures of Kelly Brook naked with the tabloid.

Two great assets: Kelly Brook unleashes her toned legs for a glamorous night out
When paparazzi from Xposure Photos supplied some pics to Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail of Kelly Brook with her breasts fully covered, the red-blooded tabloid found it difficult not to show its disappointment. But then hack JJ Anisiobi spotted that Kelly Brook has great legs and that her Moschino dress had a split that revealed her thigh in a way no banana buffing Daily Mail reader could resist.

‘Her outfit was a lesson in fashion to Cheryl Cole who wore the same dress last month but with a very different result,’ reckons JJ Anisiobi. Cheryl Cole couldn’t ‘pull it off’ says the red-blooded tabloid, whose readers would no doubt have little trouble pulling something off at the site of Kelly Brook’s pins. And that dress rises so high, Xposure almost captured a Kelly Brook upskirt shot.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.