Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Her fans will be bowled over: First images of Kelly Brook’s Playboy photo shoot released
Kelly Brook has posed for Playboy in what Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail calls ‘a sultry shoot’ that is bound to drive the tabloid’s red-blooded readers wild.

‘My boobs are real, and they even hang a little,’ Kelly Brook told the men’s magazine. The Daily Mail has been looking into Kelly’s Playboy adventure, reading all about it in the News of the World and on website Fox 411. Banana buffing readers should also look out for Kelly Brook naked on billboards for Reebok. Looks like Paul Dacre’s team will have to take a lie down.

Saucy Katy Perry strips naked in California Gurls video
Katy Perry, a long time fancy of Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail, has once again set the red-blooded tabloid throbbing after stripping naked for the video for her new single California Gurls.

Online banana buffing readers are not only offered a chance to view the video itself but, as a surprise bonus, are offered a shot of a topless Kelly Brook who is covered up by a pair of iced buns.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.