Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Katy Perry turns to wardrobe trickery to keep her VERY daring dress together
When Katy Perry wore a dress held together with a clear mesh that left her breasts exposed, Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail team went wild with delight.

‘There was only a thin piece of sheer mesh holding the plunging neckline together, giving onlookers an eyeful of her cleavage,’ exclaimed the red blooded tabloid as it closely examined the latest pics from paparazzi agency Splash. But the Daily Mail quickly turned bitchy when it noticed Katy Perry’s make up: ‘The singer revealed an extremely heavily made-up look having apparently plastered make-up on in earnest in a bid to cover any blemishes.’

Konnie Huq is a California Gurl as she recreates Katy Perry’s single cover
Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail went wild for Katy Perry when she went naked for her California Gurl’s video, so imagine the red-blooded tabloid’s excitement when Konnie Huq (a favourite of upskirt banana buffers) recreated the pose for Heat magazine.

Then imagine how gutted Paul Dacre’s team were when, having licensed rights to re-publish the picture, it turned out Konnie Huq was not naked.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.