Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Kate Winslet gets the Oprah seal of approval… for her very real breasts!
The Daily Mail knows that Kate Winslet only went nude in the Reader to prove she’s got a good bum. Now Oprah Winfrey has congratulated her on her real breasts which the Mail reckons — nudge, nudge — is better than winning two Golden Globes.

And best of all, Oprah’s comments are the perfect excuse to follow up a feature on the perfect bum, with another pic of topless Kate. Result.

As Kate Winslet goes naked on the big screen, Femail launches the great derriere debate: What DOES make the perfect female bottom?
If you missed Kate Winslet in the nude yesterday, do not fret. Not only is Kate’s ‘splendid example of pert perfection,’ which ‘shows no sign of subsidence, despite Winslet’s two children and 33 years’ back in today’s Daily Mail, the archives have been trawled for several more celebrity bums including the backsides of Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Kelly Holmes and Kylie Minogue.

Having helped you choose your favourite bum, the Mail goes on to provide guidance on where to obtain the required surgical procedures or beauty treatments.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.