Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Newlywed Kate Moss shows no sign of toning things down as she goes topless for Pirelli calendar
Daily Mail hack Nick Pisa sounds gutted that Kate Moss is married (although one doubts her ever had a chance), but he is delighted that Kate Moss has posed topless for the 2012 Pirelli calender (which one suspects is a favourite in Paul Dacre’s office.

Pictures of topless Kate Moss were given to Italian Vanity Fair, which has shared them with Paul Dacre’s organ.

‘The idea for the 2012 calendar was to underline natural female beauty,’ sighs Nick Pisa as he contemplate the topless Kate Moss. ‘Kate is seen with just a tiny pair of knickers protecting her modesty in one of the shots.’

Inside Britain’s seediest VIP club: A sickening and degrading experience enjoyed by royals and celebrities
When Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail heard that the Box, Soho was London’s seediest nightclub, the red blooded tabloid was determined to find out more and so brave hack Rose Harvey went deep undercover to check it out.

‘The outfits being showcased are achingly fashionable,’ sighed Rose Harvey. ‘The super-thin girls wear (more…)

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.