Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

‘Jessica Simpson was like sexual napalm in bed,’ reveals John Mayer
American singer John Mayer’s sexual revelations about Jessica Simpson have got Paul Dacre’s organ very exited, but Daily Mail readers may be left wondering exactly what the couple’s ‘crazy sex life’ involved.

According to John Mayer, Jessica Simpson is ‘sexual napalm’. For the uninitiated, napalm is a jelling agent ussually mixed with gasoline to create a thick, sticky burning liquid that can be quickly spread over a wide area. It tends to stick to its victims, burning slowing at high temperatures.

Jessica Simpson must be one hunk of burning love!

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.