Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Nicole Kidman reveals her love life has been kinky as she opens up about ‘strange sexual fetish’ encounters
The Daily Mail’s Jo Clements has been reading men’s magazines and discovered in GQ that Nicole Kidman likes ‘kinky sex’ and has a ‘strange sexual fetish’.

Naturally the PR team at GQ were more than happy to let Jo Clements quote extensively from their interview and reproduce the magazine cover which shows Nicole Kidman in a dominate pose.

Kelly Brook relaxes on the beach alone: But friends say Danny’s still the apple of her eye
Described a by ‘a friend’ of the Daily Mail as ‘never knowingly under exposed,’ Kelly Brook has had no trouble coaxing the telephoto lenses of Big Pictures to an extended state as she frolics in the Caribbean.

Brook is holidaying with her mother, according to the tabloid’s Neil Sears and Jo Clements, who reveal some have suggested Kelly’s relationship with rugby player Danny Cipriani is a publicity stunt.

‘Cipriani has done nothing of note in his career, yet they have tried to make him a celebrity. He hasn’t proved anything,’ bitches former rugby player Willie John McBride. Taking his foot out of his mouth Willie John goes on: ‘He is a very talented boy, but you’ve got to have a track record before you become a celebrity. He has done nothing.’

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.