Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

‘Why I stripped on webcams to pay for my uni fees’: Woman tells how she turned to the sex industry to fund her studies
When top investigative reporter Jessica Satherley of the Daily Mail discovered that one in five lapdancers is a stripper, she know she was onto a winning photo feature to excite Paul Dacre’s organ.

Jessica Satherley managed to persuade ‘desperate’ Emma Green, an former Glamorgan University student, to share some tasteful pictures of her on the job to share with banana buffing readers. Student turned stripper Emma Green found that lapdancing and stripping in front of a webcam was easy to fit in around her studies.

Daily Mail readers who would like to see a little more of Emma Green can find her on Britain’s Got Webcams, advises Jessica Satherley.

Holly Willoughby admits to spicing up her sex life by wearing nothing under her coat on date nights
The flasher mac brigade will be delighted to read in Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail that Holly Willoughby is an unlikely member of their club, having revealed that she likes to go out naked under a big coat.

The news had excitable reporter Jessica Satherley choking on her coffee as she read all the ‘intimate details’ of Holly Willoughby’s ‘sexual prowess’ in Closer magazine. Amongst other things, the TV presenter likes to wear new shoes ‘during the sex act’ before wearing them in public.

Those who know Jessica Satherley beware. She’s been taking notes.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.