Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Penelope Cruz enjoys laid-back beach break with low-key lover Javier Bardem
When Penelope Cruz took a beach holiday with her ‘low-key lover’, paparazzi agency Splash was on hand to capture some pics of the film star in her bikini to share with the Daily Mail’s army of banana buffing readers.

Paul Dacre’s red-blooded tabloid was particularly taken by a revealing down top shot that exposed Penelope Cruz’s ample cleavage.

That ‘low-key lover’ turns out to be Javier Bardem who ‘made a public declaration of his love for the brunette last month as he collected his Best Actor award at the Cannes Film Festival’ and wore black shorts to match Penelope Cruz’s bikini.

Are these the pictures that confirm Penelope Cruz is engaged to Javier Bardem?
Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem ‘couldn’t keep their hands off each other as the spend time on the beach’ reports the Daily Mail, which has obtained a series of Peeping Tom style photos from paparazzi agency Goff Photos.

Penelope Cruz ‘looked great in a skimpy black bikini as the couple frolicked in the sea’ and the couple ‘hugged, kissed and touched each other playfully.’ Most interestingly Penelope was wearing a ring on her left hand that Paul Dacre’s organ reckons might signify the relationship is serious.

Now banana buffing readers can enjoy candid photos of bikini clad Penelope Cruz. Sadly for the ladies, Javier Bardem features in only one of the pics.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.