Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Holly Willoughby admits to spicing up her sex life by wearing nothing under her coat on date nights
The flasher mac brigade will be delighted to read in Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail that Holly Willoughby is an unlikely member of their club, having revealed that she likes to go out naked under a big coat.

The news had excitable reporter Jessica Satherley choking on her coffee as she read all the ‘intimate details’ of Holly Willoughby’s ‘sexual prowess’ in Closer magazine. Amongst other things, the TV presenter likes to wear new shoes ‘during the sex act’ before wearing them in public.

Those who know Jessica Satherley beware. She’s been taking notes.

That didn’t last long Holly! Pregnant Dancing on Ice presenter returns to flaunting her cleavage
Just as the Daily Mail thinks Holly Willoughby has put them away, the pregnant presenter ‘reverts to cleavage-baring ways’ for Dancing on Ice.

The Mail had lectured that now she has ‘more than just herself to think about,’ Willoughby should cover her cleavage and adopt a more sophistcated look. But just a week in, ‘there was little sign of a baby bump, as she exposed her cleavage in a plunging neckline.’ Tut, tut!

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.