Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

No close shave for Hilary Swank as she reveals her hairy armpits on the red carpet
Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail is up in arms over Hilary Swank’s apparent failure to shave her armpits, after paparazzi from Rex Features zoomed in on her underarms when she appeared at Elle Magazine’s Women in Hollywood Tribute party at the Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles.

The red blooded tabloid was horrified by the display of ‘tufty armpits’ which put the hacks right off her ‘stunning’ gold Calvin Klein bustier dress. Worse, the Daily Mail has spotted other hirsute Hollywood babes. It looks like there’s a campaign in the making.

Million Dollar Body: Hilary Swank, 36, shows off her incredibly flat stomach
When Hilary Swank took a stroll in an itsy-bitsy pink bikini, Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail was left amazed by her washboard stomach… the red-blooded tabloid has always enjoyed looking at women with ‘athletic figures’.

Hilary Swank was holidaying with her boyfriend in Hawaii with paparazzi from Pacific Coast News keeping an eye on things for Paul Dacre’s army of jealous hacks, tethered to their desks in London.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.