Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

‘My boobs looked like they were exploding’: Jodie Marsh reveals the horror of her breast enlargement
J J Anisiobi of Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail has been reading Heat magazine so banana buffing readers don’t have to… and secured the right to share revealing pics of glamour model turned bodybuilder topless, with her 32GG breasts.

Topless Jodie Marsh’s bodybuilder breasts have come under so much strain that she thought they might explode J J Anisiobi has read. Now bodybuilder Jodie Marsh is topless again to reveal the scaring to her breasts and try to dissuade others from getting boob jobs.

‘Mark told me we’d be more successful if I lost weight’: reveals Lauren Goodger as she poses in the nude before split
Lauren Goodger has posed naked again, this time to share her outrage at having been asked by her ex, Mark Wright, to lose weight. The first time she went nude was to show Mark Wright what he was missing.

And Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail is delighted to have gotten permission to share the resulting pics with banana buffing readers.

This time hack Alanah Eriksen has been given the task of providing to commentary on the pictures, which were taken for Heat magazine. Lauren Goodger claims to be a size 10, reports Alanah Eriksen; a claim on which cruel Daily Mail readers pour scorn in the comments.

Readers of the red blooded tabloid are invited to look at Lauren Goodger’s bare arse and check out her legs (which Goodger says are ‘disgusting’).

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.