Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Cannes 2009: The T4 ladies on board Steve Jones’ love boat
T4 presenter Steve Jones had the Daily Mail a little hot under collar as he entertained ‘FOUR beauties’ including Heroes star Hayden Panettiere aboard a luxury yacht off Cannes.

The fully extended telephoto lenses of paparazzi agencies Splash, Big Pictures and Matrix Photos caught Jones ‘flexing his washboard abs’ as the girls cavorted. Perhaps most exciting for Paul Dacre’s tabloid, was an opportunity to see a female friend of Hayden Panettiere covering her in sun cream. Phwarh!

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.