Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Putting her perfect skin to good use! Irina Shayk enjoys a nude shower in steamy new skincare campaign
When the PR people at Germaine De Capuccini Skin Care sent Paul Dacre’s red blooded tabloid a set of nude pics of Irina Shayk, the team could not have been more delighted. It fell to hack Holly Thomas to annotate the images supplied by the cosmetics company, in return for some cheap publicity, for banana buffing Daily Mail readers.

‘The 25-year-old stripped down for a steamy collection of shots for the UK beauty company, whose products (more…)

TV stars Alison Brie and Gillian Jacobs dress up in racy underwear for a daring girl on girl photo
When Alison Brie and Gillian Jacobs stripped down to their undies for some girl-on-girl action, Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail could not have been more excited.

TV stars Alison Brie and Gillian Jacobs went lesbian for men’s magazine GQ, a major source of news stories for hacks at the red blooded tabloid. Paul Dacre’s organ was particularly excited by the combination of a brunette, Alison Brie, getting it on with a blonde, Gillian Jacobs.

‘Both stars showed off their slim figures with Alison sporting a black lacy bra, matching knickers and stockings, teamed with black heels,’ salivated the tabloid. ‘With her hand on her cast mate’s back, Gillian wore a white bra and chunky white shoes.’ Both Alison Brie and Gillian Jacobs were left sore by their lesbian adventure, according to GQ.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.