Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Her cup runneth over: Oprah Winfrey reveals a little too much in her plunging red neckline as she parties at Versace for H&M
When Oprah Winfrey wore a particularly low cut dress at a party to celebrate H&M’s collaboration with Vaersace, the Daily Mail’s Chris Johnson could not help taking a not-so-sneaky peak at the TV star’s cleavage.

The red-blooded tabloid hack found images of Oprah Winfrey’s cleavage, as caputured by Getty, far more erotic than pics of much younger celebs, like Gossip Girl Blake Lively (who came second for cleavage) and actress Emma Roberts. Which shows that as far as Paul Dacre’s organ is concerned, 57 year-old Oprah Winfrey’s still got it.

Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace leads the D-listers at latest Danny Dyer movie in super-tight minidress
She may be a D-lister, but Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail is in love with Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace and thinks she looks ‘busty’ and ‘shapely’ in a super-tight minidress.

‘The 31-year-old’s willingness to attend functions in revealing outfits is no doubt part of the reason for her enduring appeal,’ sighs the red-blooded tabloid over images captured by Getty.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.