Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

The Voice of an Angel, and a heavenly body! Charlotte Church is the yummiest of mummies
When Mr Paparazzi caught Charlotte Church frolicking in Dubai in a blue bikini, the Daily Mail’s Kate Loveys and Georgina Littlejohn fell in love: ‘she’s the body of an angel!’

‘The singer whose breakthrough came with Voice of an Angel looked the yummiest mummy in the paddling pool as she played with her two children in the Dubai sunshine,’ they exclaimed.

The pictures of Charlotte Church sunbathing and sneaking off for a crafty fag, will dispel rumours her marriage is in trouble claim Paul Dacre’s crack team.

David Walliams can’t keep his hands – or lips – off model girlfriend Lara Stone as they soak up some Mexican sun
David Walliams and girlfriend Lara Stone avoided the usual celebrity haunts, reports the Daily Mail’s Georgina Littlejohn, but still could not avoid the long lens of paparazzi agency Matrix Photos.

The pair were caught snogging on a beach in Mexico and the photos rushed back to Paul Dacre’s red-blooded tabloid for Georgina Littlejohn to examine. Reckons Georgina: ‘The pair… couldn’t keep their hands off each other as he rubbed sun lotion on her and stroked her leg.’

After watching the lovers so closely and admiring David Walliams in his bathing costume, Georgina Littlejohn sounds like she did some rubbing of her own.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.