Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

‘It’s really empowering’: Lara Pulver on how she was more than happy to strip off for racy scenes in Sherlock
‘…how could the BBC think that these scenes were appropriate for a pre- watershed audience?’ ranted Daily Mail puritans Paul Revoir and Adam Sherwin when Lara Pulver appeared nude in BBC1′s Sherlock. But colleague Georgina Littlejohn (daughter of Richard) has presented another view, ensuring the red blooded tabloid’s army of banana buffing readers don’t miss out.

Keen to ensure Daily Mail readers get to see Lara Pulver nude, Littlejohn has posted a number of stills and embedded bootleg video of the offending scene. Georgina had read in the Radio Times that Lara Pulver really was nude and didn’t mind offending 100 viewers, spurred to complain to the BBC by the Daily Mail and now, presumbly, about to complain to Paul Dacre himself.

Meanwhile, Dacre’s picture editor, Paul Silva, gives evidence to Leveson enquiry into media ethics.

That’s some view you’ve got there! Sid Owen gives his stunning fiancée some admiring glances as they laze on a yacht
Paparazzi from Cruise Pictures have captured a series of intimate pictures of Sid Owen frolicking with ‘his sexy semi-naked fiancée’ Polly Parsons.

The photos, sold to Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail, have certainly got hack Georgina (daughter of Richard) Littlejohn’s blood up.

‘The EastEnders actor, 39, looked mighty pleased with himself as Polly Parsons, 27, showed off her stunning figure in a cutaway swimsuit on board the yacht in Dubai,’ gushed Georgina Littlejohn as she salivated over Sid Owen’s ‘impressive physique’. Georgina Littlejohn read in OK! magazine that Sid Owen proposed to Polly Parsons in Barbados. The pair looked like they were about consummate the relationship in front of the paparazzi, reckons Georgina Littlejohn, to the delight of banana buffing readers back home.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.