Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

AD: Buy the Hollyoaks Calendar 2010
Hollyoaks girls strip off to shoot new bikini calendar… then get a drenching as they have a water fight
If Paul Dacre were to find Hollyoaks babes Zoe Lister, Jenny Metcalfe, Gemma Merna, Jorgie Porter, Saira Choudhry, Carley Stenson, Hollie-Jay Bowes, Kelly-Marie Stewart, Stephanie Waring and Claire Cooper in his Christmas stocking, he might think that all his Christmases had come at once!

But the red blooded Daily Mail editor would actually be celebrating Christmas 2009 and all those girls are to be found in the Hollyoaks Calendar 2010. Naturally, the Daily Mail has already snaffled a number of hot pics to share with readers.

Hollyoaks siren Gemma Merna shows off her curves in 80’s-style electric pink swimsuit
Paul Dacre not only needs to take somebody to one side over their use of apostrophes (80’s-style!) but should also have a word over their description of Gemma Merna’s ‘electric pink’ swimsuit as ‘edgy’. Here at Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre, we reckon it’s awful… but then the Daily Mail caters for all sorts of weirdos.

Merna agreed to don the one piece in return for some publicity in Closer and Paul Dacre’s tabloid was delighted to take sloppy seconds on a couple of sexy shots.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.