Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

What’s that you’ve got in your pants, Harry, the week’s laundry?
When Daily Mail hack Andrea Magraph caught a glimpse of Strictly Come Dancing’s Harry Judd on the cover of Attitude she couldn’t believe her eyes and rushed back to the office to share the sexy pics with her red-blooded colleagues.

And it wasn’t just Harry Judd’s six pack that tickled Andrea’s fancy. She couldn’t believe how well filled Harry Judd’s pants were, with a cheeky headline suggesting he’d stuffed some laundry in his knickers. Checking the Daily Mail archive for similar images, Andrea Magraph came across David Beckham (or as Paul Dacre’s organ likes to think of him; Goldenballs) in Armani undies. It looks like Harry Judd is the winner for Andrea Magraph and the Daily Mail team.

Out and proud: Ricky Martin embraces sexuality with confident new video
In perhaps their most difficult assignment to date, paparazzi agency Splash have taken some screen shots of a Ricky Martin video and sold them on to Paul Dacre’s ever gullible Daily Mail.

The red blooded loves the pics, which it is sharing with gay banana buffing readers, as it shows Ricky Martin, ‘clearly empowered by his recent decision to live an openly gay life… he appears completely naked save for a few well-placed digital tattoos.’

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.